02.17.16, 180 lbs
One-Arm Dumbbell Row, each side 115 x 8, 5

Back Squat, very light wraps
45 x 10 x 2
135 x 5
185 x 3
225 x 1
235 x 1
245 x 1, 2, 5
...
225 x 1
245 x 1
255 x 1
265 x 1
275 x 1

Much, much better results today. Knee felt much better this morning. I was able to make the right quads contribute. Both sets of quads felt free of knots. It was just wonderful all around. Still in pain, but happy that my squat is finally moving up again.

The "..." indicates a couple hours had passed. I just felt as if I could have handled more load if not more volume. Volume was definitely out of the question. It was good to get up to 275 again. And I got to that after being very, very tired. I was shaking a bit, which seems to be the norm after I exert myself.

Knee Injured, Filling With Fluid

02.16.16, 180 lbs
Bench Press, touch and go
45 x 12 x 6
135 x 6
185 x 3
205 x 2
225 x 1
230 x 3 x 2
One-Arm Dumbbell Row, each side 100 x 12 x 2

My bench continues to disappoint. Despite the dosing. And my resting heart rate is hovering above 100 bpm. I'm very easily winded. And things seem to resist improvement.

I walked for 20 minutes today. First time in ages. I'm getting stiff because all I do is sit when I'm not squatting. I barely walk at all anymore.

But my knee seems to have gotten dinged from all the squat volume I did with light weight in an attempt at rehab. Ironically, my rehab injured me. The right knee is getting stiff and it's effused.

02.15.16, ~175 lbs
Bench Press, touch and go
45 x 12 x 2
135 x 6
185 x 3
225 x 5, 4, 1

Back Squat, high bar
45 x 12
135 x 6
185 x 5
205 x 5
215 x 5
225 x 5

I finally got five at 225 on BP again. And I still managed four reps on the next set, though barely. I was exhausted after that and my shoulder was achy and a little unstable. One rep was all I could manage on the last set attempt.

Right knee is aching. Must have come down too hard on a couple squats. Today I decided to switch out the super high heeled close stance squat to a more knee-friendly version: wider stance, lower heel, bar slightly lower on traps.

This means less forward knee travel so the hip muscles like the adductors bear the load at the bottom. The way I've been squatting has meanto quad and knee distress with less activation and development of the hip musc

02.12.16. 175 lbs
Bench Press, touch and go
45 x 16
135 x 8
185 x 4
205 x 2
225 x 3

Olympic-style Back Squat 
45 x 15
95 x 10
135 x 5
155 x 5
175 x 5

Conventional Belt-less Deadlift 405 x 1 (shaky)

Just wanted to keep the feel for the bench so I went the next day. No stronger, of course. Quads feel good in the squat, but reps over 10 make me shake and want to vomit.

Deadlift afterward had me shaking like a leaf with just 405.

02.11.16. 177 lbs
Bench Press, touch and go
45 x 12 x 2
135 x 5
185 x 3
205 x 2
225 x 1
225 x 3 x 5

Olympic-style Back Squat
45 x 15
95 x 10
115 x 10
135 x 10

I got to 225 and it felt so heavy that I put it back after one rep. I was just three pounds heavier than I am now when I got 225 x 9 x 2. So I was pissed that I was doing so poorly today. I was just a little over 170 a few days ago when I got 225 for five. So I dug deep and repped out another set. But only managed three. So I decided that I would get more volume and did five sets. I only got three sets of three last week.

It was even more depressing to see much bigger guys getting 275 for a two or three reps...and knowing that just a few months ago I was able to match that while weighing a lot less than they do.

It feels like my best days are behind me.

But on a happier note: I was able to work my way up to a comfortable 135 for reps on the squat. Pain-free in the quads, finally. I'm still religious about rolling the knots, which are much smaller now.

Still, I was so winded from higher reps with these weights that I felt like I was going to be ill. My stamina is way down. The SARM may have something to do with it.

02.08.16 - 170-173 lbs
Bench Press, touch and go
45 x 15 x 2
135 x 5
185 x 3
205 x 2
225 x 5, 3, 1

Olympic-style Back Squat
45 x 10
85 x 15
95 x 15

One-Arm Dumbbell Row, each side 100 x 10

A little disappointed that I couldn't get another set of five. In fact, the first set tired me so much that even with lots of rest, I could only get a single on the third attempt. Still, I'm able to get 225 x 5 which means a 255-260 for a 1RM. I'm 25 lbs lighter than I was when I was able to get ~300 1RM. It would be nice if I could get 3-4 lbs increase on bench per pound of bodyweight gained so that when I hit 200 again, my max is more like 350 instead of 300.

The bench really drained me so, as usual, squats were tough. I accidentally skipped 75, but not a huge deal at these recovery weights. I need to be vigilant about avoiding the temptation to take bigger jumps. Also, I want to keep the reps at 9 when I approach 135, and then at 6 as I approach 315.

I've been religiously PVC rolling. The left quad is the problem. I roll the right one, but that's easy. It's the left that still has a long, tough lump down the center and up at the proximal insertion. I've also been trying to jump a little and sprint. I''m losing my ability to move forcefully.

Feeling Better Already

02.05.16 - 172
Bench Press, touch and go 
45 x 12 x 2
135 x 6
185 x 4
205 x 2
225 x 4 x 2

Olympic-Style Back Squat
45 x 10
55 x 20
65 x 20

Things are already looking up!

I was able to get two sets of four tonight. A couple days ago three reps was my best and the third set of three almost killed me. But tonight...tonight I could have done five reps on that first set. I nearly went for a third set tonight, but I realized that I'd get two or three reps top. I already saw a drastic improvement in just two days. So I decided to back off and leave some for next time (sets of five with 225).

I headed over to the squat where I very diligently and carefully did high reps in a controlled manner with very light weights. I am happy as a clam to report that none of the usual spots in my quads gave any hint of knotting up or burning. I plan to get up to 95 for 20 next session, then 115 for 29 the session after that. Then 135, and so on. The reps will start to drop as I get to 225, but I need to let my quads slowly adapt again to the squat motion against added resistance.

Last night I practiced lots of bodyweight squats and holds in different positions as I rolled my quads. I ended up watching a couple of hours of YouTube about sumo athletes. Watching those 350-plus-lb men squatting their enormous bodyweight and doing all kinds of splits and stuff really inspired me. Their legs are strong and they are flexible and just so powerful. Watching them made me realize just how bound up I'ld let myself become by only ever squatting heavy and not practicing any mobility or flexibility.

Seriously, watch those monsters hold a squat on toes with knees all the way forward. Or do a full split with their face on the floor. It makes you realize how much you've been slacking.

My weight is starting to inch back up as I combine RAD 140 with MK 677.

Fallen Far, First Step Back (Two Weeks Off, Missed Meals, Down To 170 lbs)

02.03.16. -- 170 lbs
Bench Press, touch and go
45 x 12 x 2
135 x 6
185 x 4
205 x 2
225 x 3 x 3

One-Arm Dumbbell Row 100 x 8 x 2

Wow. I've really fallen far in just a couple weeks. Lots of stress killed my appetite and any desire to train. I even considered canceling my gym membership and giving up on this increasingly futile pursuit. I lost another five pounds of muscle.

I've gone from a PR of nine reps with 225 exactly 14 days ago to just a few, very hard sets of three today. That's a huge decrease in just two weeks.

I've worked even more taut bands out of my quads, but my left remains problematic. The same troublesome area started getting weak and tight with me squatting just 135. Even ten reps with just the bar got a little tiring.

I guess I just have to work back up very slowly. Like starting with the bar and adding just ten pounds each session.

I started taking RAD again yesterday. 10 mg ED.