Don't Most INTPs Have Borderline Personality Disorder?

Here Jordan Peterson says (at 4:03) the borderline personality disorder patient is able to "strategize, abstract, but not implement". Abstraction over implementation is another way of saying Ti-dom/Ne-aux, isn't it? 

I am an INTP with severe, textbook BPD. It always seemed to me that BPD is a what naturally happens to an INTP who is traumatized as a child. In fact, I'd wager BPD has a high occurrence among INTPs who are the most natural targets of those Fe-dom dumb-dumbs in grade school. 

Someone should really look into this. 

Having BPD is like being an emotional werewolf with bridge-specific pyromania.

It Was Bullying-Induced Body Dysmorphia All Along

I had a bit of a mutli-year breakdown followed by a few months of breaking through. I have come to realize that my decades-long obsession with lifting and hitting certain numbers were both symptoms of a very fractured psyche.

I am an ectomorphic introvert who skipped two grades early on in my academic career. I was (and maybe still am) the dream of bullies everywhere.

Middle-aging has forced me to relinquish my obsession (which had me turning to increasingly dangerous protocols to stave off the deleteriuos effects of aging on my ability to build and maintain muscle mass). I have freed up a lot of mental energy and learning time. It's as if my true, wiser, brainier self emerged from the husk of the bulked-up emotional monster I had become.

2018,02,17
Bench Press
45 x 12 x 2
135 x 6
165 x 3
175 x 2
185 x 3 x

Back Squat
45 x 12
135 x 6
225 x 3
245 x 4


2018,02,21
Bench Press
45 x 12
135 x 6
165 x 3
175 x 2
185 x 5, 3

Deadlift 405 x 1
Pullup @170 x 7 x 2
Dumbbell Row with 80-lb DB x 10 x 2

Second Day Back

Bench Press [ring fingers on rings]
45 x 12 x 2
135 x 6
155 x 6 x 2
165 x 6
175 x 2*

Pull Up @ 170-175 x 6 x 2

*Wasn't really being greedy for 175; just wanted to see how it felt. Usual big increases after layoff.

Back After Six-Week+ Break

Weight: 175 lbs

Bench Press [ring finger on rings]
45 x 10
135 x 5 x 3

Back Squat [no belt, no wraps]
45 x 10
135 x 5
185 x 3
225 x 5 x 2

Dumbbell Row with 60-lb DB x 10 x 2

Completely cleaned out and detrained. This is as weak as I get now and it's not quite as bad as I expected: a plate each side on the bench work sets and two plates on the squat work sets. With zero attempt at eating more than normal, I maintain a stable body weight of 170-175 lbs.

Taking a Break; 170-175 Lbs New Set Point

It's been a little over a month since I've trained. The respite was initially due to the trip to Northern Europe, but I lost my enthusiasm to train as my 42nd birthday approached and I considered my mounting health problems.

My kidney function has bounced back a bit, but it's still worrisome and far below optimal. Turns out that muscle-building takes a toll on the kidneys. And my blood pressure has been on the high side for as long as I can remember and that also hurts kidney function. Plus, I'm just getting older and my strength is overall declining.

But I have been watching a few lifting videos today and am reminded that I just love lifting, period. I like being stronger than average even if I cannot be among the strongest.

I am going to weak AF when I finally return to training, but that's okay. I have gotten a chance to let any lingering fatigue or joint stress dissipate. And I get to see how small and weak I am after not training at all for nearly two months; this will give me a very good idea of my body's new "set point". My set point in my 20's was 130 lbs. In my 30's it was 145 for the first have of that decade. Years of training have allowed me to be almost 175 without training. And my body fat percentage appears to remain low still. I am far from impressive, but I still look okay. I'm hoping that I can get back over 180 by training properly again.

Lastly, I am going to think equally in terms of muscle groups and of lifts in terms of focus, especialy since I am no longer a powerlifter and have zero desire to compete anymore. The breakdown I with which I will initially experiment is a four-day split with direct arm and ab work.